THE BAD NEWS SHREWS: L'il Miss Shrew's STUFF

is for anyone who DARES

criticize My fine lines & wrinkles!

LIFE should NOT be a JOURNEY to the

GRAVE With the intention of arriving

SAFELY in an

ATTRACTIVE & WELL-PRESERVED BODY,
But rather to…

SKID IN SIDEWAYS JACK DANIELS in one hand,

Chocolate-coated STRAWBERRIES in the other,

CIGARETTE hanging out of your mouth, BODY THOROUGHLY USED UP,
TOTALLY WORN OUT & SCREAMING… WOO HOO!!!
HELLUVA RIDE!

Can

Cardiovascular

EXERCISE

prolong life?

Your HEART
is only good for
so many beats,
and THAT'S IT!

So don't

WASTE THEM ON

EXERCISE! Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your HEART will not
make you live longer;

That's like saying you can extend the
Life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? TAKE A NAP! How can I calculate

my BODY/FAT ratio?

Well, if you have a

BODY

& you have

BODY FAT,
your ratio is 1 to 1.

If you have 2 bodies, your ratio is 2 to 1, etc..

WOWIE, MEOWIE!

JUST A WET AND WILD PUSSY...

CAT! Is

CHOCOLATE

BAD for me?

Are you

CRAZY?

HELLO...
Cocoa Beans--Another vegetable!
It's the best

FEEL-GOOD

food around!

My TREMENDOUS

Upper-Body Strength-
I EXERCISE it daily!

it's called ...
Will SIT-UPS

help prevent me from getting

a little soft around the

middle?
Definitely NOT!

When you exercise a muscle it gets

BIGGER

You should only be doing sit-ups
if you want a BIGGER stomach!

Cut down on MEAT -

Eat more

FRUIT & VEGGIES? You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
What does a COW eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these?

A steak is nothing more than

an efficient mechanism
of delivering veggies to your body.
Beef, also a good source of field grass
(Green Leafy Vegetable).

Any

ADVANTAGES

doing REGULAR EXERCISE? Can't think of a single one, sorry.
It may allow you 6 MORE months in a NURSING HOME in DIAPERS!My Motto, NO PAIN!